Out from the Gallows

First of all to those who care I am feeling better. The uncomfortable feeling in my chest have weakened. I have been trying to rest the last couple of days and being around my wife and son have really helped me. It's amazing how far a single kiss from the one you love can affect you even when you are at the bottom of the barrel. When all seems lost it only takes a single touch to fill the void that might have been there. To see my son laughing and smiling when I get home fills me as well. It is a good feeling when you know you are loved. And as I go through life's stress and it builds and eats at me I will strive to be strong for my family. The stress is all my fault anyway. I have created it and allow it to control me. Then I begin to feel worse when I see how it affects those around me. I just try so hard to do the right things that if I make one mistake I feel like all those positives are erased and I'm there tainted by that mistake. I just need to get the motto of "expect the worse and hope for the best" out of my mind. I just want to continue to show those I care for that I love them and if it all ends tomorrow they won't question my feelings towards them. This life can get real hard sometimes. I welcome the challenges but know I can't do this alone. I just don't want to take it on alone. I know my family cares for me and will always be there through thick and thin. I'll be fine, I always come through to face another day. And I will continue to do so as long as my heart holds up. I'm young, loved, and obligated by responsibility to keep going. I wouldn't change anything about this life as what troubles may present themselves I will become a better person because of them. God has a plan for me and I must fully trust what that is. I will continue to be the person He wants me to be and if you come across my path I will show you love. Take it and receive it with blessings. All I ask of you is to pay it forward. You never know who really needs it.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Tony, you seem so stressed and down as though the weight of the world is on your shoulders. I don't doubt that you have worries. Perhaps it's your approach that needs changing. Take your own advice on looking at the positives. I wasn't there, I don't know the whole story about why you felt the way that you did. You have a wife whom you love. Your son is healthy, smart, and adorable. You have the career that you worked very hard for. You'll never have your own jet but you can pay the bills. You have a good life. If you're just putting up some facade for us all and things are not all that they seem then pull down the wall and let us see and we can help. I love you. We all do. Focus on what you can control and let the other stuff roll of your back.
January 21, 2008 at 2:38 PM
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