One of those days
"Societies perception of things can blind the many truths that lie beneath." -aj
I have this funny feeling in my chest. It doesn't hurt, but yet it feels as though my heart is growing tired and weak. I don't feel well today. No I'm not sick or even have the common cold. I'm not well emotionally I think. The last couple days I have woken up with a headache, nothing like my migraines but I feel them. It doesn't stop me but I know its there. I move on. I woke up today again with a headache but my chest also let me know that I wasn't well. But I continued my day and went to work. I hid my agony through the smiles and conversations I enjoy with my kids. I had a good day at work, but in the down times I hurt. I can't fully explain it but it's there. I know it is stress. It seems as though I am close to stressed out. On the outside you may see a smile, but on the inside I feel like I'm crying. I don't even want to play basketball tonight and that's surprising. I really don't want to go but those there count on me showing up. I don't feel well. I really haven't had anything to eat today because I just don't want to eat. I really would like a hug to be honest but I see no one around. My family is sleeping and the others have there own lives to deal with. I don't want pity or a hug because I have asked for it, but I want one because someone would like to give me one.
My grandma gave me stress pills today but if you've read my early blogs then you know I'm not taking these. I am trying to give it to God but right now I hear nothing. Its so quiet right now. I don't hear my son's laughter, I can't interact with my wife. Usually in times like this I would play my guitar, but that doesn't seem like something I want to do. I don't want to do anything that usually I would want to do. I don't feel well. But I guess it doesn't matter the way that I feel because I am going to go to this basketball game and make other people happy. I can wait. I don't feel well, but I can wait. I can wait.
I have this funny feeling in my chest. It doesn't hurt, but yet it feels as though my heart is growing tired and weak. I don't feel well today. No I'm not sick or even have the common cold. I'm not well emotionally I think. The last couple days I have woken up with a headache, nothing like my migraines but I feel them. It doesn't stop me but I know its there. I move on. I woke up today again with a headache but my chest also let me know that I wasn't well. But I continued my day and went to work. I hid my agony through the smiles and conversations I enjoy with my kids. I had a good day at work, but in the down times I hurt. I can't fully explain it but it's there. I know it is stress. It seems as though I am close to stressed out. On the outside you may see a smile, but on the inside I feel like I'm crying. I don't even want to play basketball tonight and that's surprising. I really don't want to go but those there count on me showing up. I don't feel well. I really haven't had anything to eat today because I just don't want to eat. I really would like a hug to be honest but I see no one around. My family is sleeping and the others have there own lives to deal with. I don't want pity or a hug because I have asked for it, but I want one because someone would like to give me one.
My grandma gave me stress pills today but if you've read my early blogs then you know I'm not taking these. I am trying to give it to God but right now I hear nothing. Its so quiet right now. I don't hear my son's laughter, I can't interact with my wife. Usually in times like this I would play my guitar, but that doesn't seem like something I want to do. I don't want to do anything that usually I would want to do. I don't feel well. But I guess it doesn't matter the way that I feel because I am going to go to this basketball game and make other people happy. I can wait. I don't feel well, but I can wait. I can wait.
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