Can't Sleep

Here I am, almost 2:00 am and I'm typing on the computer. The reason for this late night type is that I don't want this day to end. My beautiful wife has just fallen asleep, I laid there trying to let the night take me away and it's not happening. Why do I not want this night to end you ask? Well tomorrow is another work night, along with Thursday for my wife. Another night to get through. I will be honest, I struggle many times to get through the night. I haven't slept a clean night straight through in some time. It's just that my mind keeps me up. I'm an oversensitive baby I guess. I have always been a real sensitive guy. I look at it as a negative because I go through nights like tonight where I can't relax. After a nice and pleasant date night with LeeAnn I made a comment about the Internet that I shouldn't have. I apologized a couple times but I still felt bad because I know she loves reading and commenting on people's blogs. I'm a hypocrite because I'm on here right now writing a blog!! Why do I let things get to me so much? Why are these small things stacked up in my brain? Who cares that she loves the Internet?! I guess I do because I'm here "wasting time" about it. I really need to keep my mouth closed and enjoy the time I do get to spend with her. I just always want to be around her and receive her attention without interruption. I mean why should tonight bother me when we do get five days together after Thursday's night. Whining and complaining is something that drives me crazy. Now look, I'm doing exactly that. I'm such a baby. I apologize for wasting your time.

Comments

Anonymous said…
One thing I've learned in my first long term relationship is that you have to let your lady have somethings that you are not going to like. Maybe it's watching "Dancing with the Stars", maybe it's scrapbooking, or maybe it's an internet fetish. There's always going to be something. If you truly intend to stay with them forever you have to be able to be at ease with such things. Trust adn understanding are vital to any relationship and not just on big things. It's terrible to spend time sweating over small things like using the internet. it will drive you crazy. Remember the nights when you first realized that you were falling for this person? Was there a time when they didn't answer your call? Did they ever forget to call you back? Isn't that the worst feeling in the world? Eventually you realize it was a simple mistake and there was absolutely no reason for you to agonize over it. I would never want to go back to that. I am so comfortable in my relationship. It's not indifference, it's trust and understanding.
December 19, 2007 at 4:07 PM
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